:'(

I feel like i'm not happy anymore. i feel like no one can understand me anymore.

Mom, Dad...
I know you want me to be a good people.
I will prove it to you! I promise, when i'm in college. I won't dissapoint you.

But please, Mom...Dad... don't you realized that all you can do is only sue me?
have you ever think of me? about my feeling? am I happy or am I not?

Yesterday my Mom saw me cry.. what did she do to me?
Nothing! She didn't even care why am I crying?
When I need you Mom and Dad the most, where have you been mom, Dad? to carry me, and not to let me down? Where did you go? You dont care!

what you only care is sue and sue me.

Am I right? think, mom.. dad..

end of highschool :'(

PROM NIGHT & GRADUATION

I ♥ YOU

This lately 3 months God had been blessing me with an adorable guy, named REYNALDI♥ Well, sometimes he's too sensitive, jealousy and so cranky. BUT BEHIND IT he's really adorable and amazingly kind. he really took care of me and made me happy! i love the way he treat me, and the way he appreciate me. and oooooh, im so in love with him ♥♥♥

BM9 LULUS!! :D

G R A D U A T E D ! ! !

ALHAMDULILLAH! 26 april 2010 IM OFFICIALY GRADUATED! alhamdulillah gue lulus, dengan NEM 45.00 (rata2 7.5) gakpapa deh walopun gak besar2 amat nilainya yang penting saya lulus. setelah melewati ujian2 sampah itu... yang belajarnya sampe mau gila. (ujung2nya pake bocoran juga deh) hehe. i cant stop saying alhamdulillah! thank god thank god THANK GOD! siap2 deh sebentar lagi.. "WELCOME TO THE COLLEGE WORLD" sumpah takut sebenernya. hehe. tapi bakal nganggur 4 bulan lebih nih.. huhu ngapain ya enaknya? :l

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

buat temen2 yang belum lulus, (dan salah satunya adalah sahabat terdekat saya :'() jangan patah semangat dulu ya. its not the end of everything kok.. masih ada remedial, dan gue berdoa semoga kalian bisa lulus di remedial dan wisuda sama2 ya.. one thing that you guys should know, kalian bukan ngga pinter, cuma belum sukses aja. gue juga ga pernah belajar kok. dan gue jg ga pinter sm sekali. sounds not fair,huh? pokoknya jgn patah semangat ya! GOODLUCK GUYS UJIAN ULANGNYA :D:D ♥♥♥

this is it.

setelah menimbang2 keputusan gue akhirnya memilih Universitas Bakrie. why? karna setelah gue pikir2, emang enakan di jakarta. deket sama orang tua, lebih gampang mau ngapa2in. dan deket sama pacaal hehe :p :p awalnya gue dipaksa2 buat bakrie dan gue sangat ga mau, setelah diiming2 ini dan itu. yaudah akhirnya gue mau... udah dong, seneng nih gue lega akhirnya di jakarta walopun agak berat ninggalin unpar. EH TAPI TIBA TIBA, uang di unpar gak bisa di ambil... jadinya sebel deh padahal dulu giliran gue mau di unpar di paksa2, giliran skrg udah seneng bs di jakarta, disuruh di bandung.. tapi gak papa deh, we're back to the first choice. bismillah :)

UNIVERSITAS PARAHYANGAN BANDUNG
FAKULTAS ILMU SOSIAL DAN POLITIK
HUBUNGAN INTERNASIONAL
2010

this or that!

its been a quite tough week, since my mom and my dad asked me to register in Bakrie School of Management. well, i really don't want to but they keep forced me. why? because if i got accepted, i could get a scholarship so my parents doesn't need to pay my college anymore. i know, its a really good offer. but you know what i've been deeply fell in love with Universitas Katolik Parahyangan (and of course, Bandung), and thank god, i got accepted there. i thought my struggle is over and i could focus to National Exam. But, obviously not! And today, i did the BSM test.. di satu sisi gue ga mau banget sebenernya, di satu sisi gue pengen nyenengin nyokap gue (dan takut kualat). Huhu, what should I do? :(

UNPAR

ALHAMDULILLAH, got accepted at FISIP, HI Universitas Katolik Parahyangan Bandung! So.. yep! I'll move to Bandung perhaps on september :)

♥♥♥

yea i think im falling..

I wanna tell you baby
That you're the one that Im thinking of
That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you

From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
You're the one that I should pursue
My heart only says that it's you

Yet still I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think Im falling
Baby I'm falling for you

happy new year 2010 ;)

new year's eve kemaren gue rayain sama temen2 sma gue, karna ini taun terakhir kita bareeng. (huhu jadi mellow) kita rayain di bandung, di villa regency setiabudi. 2 malem 3 hari. dan seru banget! pokoknya i wont forget that adorable moment ;)

Straitjacket Feeling ;)

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But, today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be,
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
Off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
but, today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me,

but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
grip falls away

Yesterday was hell
but, today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me,

but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

The all-american reject

YOU

You did it again
You did hurt my heart
I don’t know how many times
You… I don’t know what to say
You’ve made me so desperately in love
and now you let me down
You said you’d never lie again
You said this time would be so right
But then I found you were lying there by her side

You.. You turn my whole life so blue
Drowning me so deep, I just can't reach myself again
You.. Successfully tore myheart
Now it’s only pieces
Nothing left but pieces of you

You frustated me with this love
I’ve been trying to understand
You know i’m trying i’m trying
You.. I don’t know what to say
You’ve made me so desperately in love
and now you let me down

You said you’d never lie again
You said this time would be so right
But then I found you were lying there by her side

You.. You turn my whole life so blue
Drowning me so deep, I just can't reach myself again
You.. Successfully tore myheart
Now it’s only pieces
Nothing left but pieces of you

by : ten 2 five

20 Months Anniversary

3 January 2010.

on our 20 months anniversary.....

we broke up.............



i dont mind...
he's a jerk, btw

thank god, u showed me the right way ;)

i just wanna say goodbye.
byebye badass!!

barbies soccer shirt!

hey, did u remember about "barbies soccer shirt"? udah jadi looooh :) :)

2009

things that i wont forget in 2009

• Bemsmart 8th

• Arinta's Birthday

• Came back and broke up again with R.
  

• Ramadhanya's birthday

• When i saw that birthday photos at pure, damn fuck!

• Singapore-Malaysia

• Puncak

• Oh~La~La Incident
  

• 3 May 2009, my first year anniversary with somebody else boyfriend --"
  

• Riri's Birthday

• Girls days out in Catherine's apartmen almost everyday! damn i love it!
  

• when my life was miserable and messed up, and i became a very rude girl. no no, NOT AGAIN!

• Pulau Seribu

• someone has sent me a message and she was sudden mocking me! what was ur point, bitch? i dont get it!

• MOS 2009

• Reynaldi Imandaris Putra :)
  

• R, Again *sigh*
  

• Jogjakarta

• My 18th Birthday

• New Year's Eve with my BM9 at Bandung :D
  

• And many more....

Well 2009 is not a good year for me. but i learned so much from my pain, and my suffer until i became stronger ;) Goodbye 2009, and welcome 2010. I really expect something better!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

SMOOOCCCCHHH,
Amila

Happy Birthday dear, Amila :)

8 Desember 2009..

pukul 00.00
KarinaDeo dateng kerumah bawa martabak, trs mereka 4 bulanan.. Trs curhat-curhat deh..

pukul 00.31
Ryan datang ke rumah bawa kueee! Uh its so sweet, he said "Happy birthday dear, im wishing you all the best" and then kissed my forehead.


after school, in tendu...
di cegat gak boleh pulang, dan for the first time of my life, dan sebuah kado yang paling gak pernah gue harapkan dan gue ga suka........... yep, gue di ceplokin! but it was fun tho --"


The Dinner.....
makan-makan pizza & spagethi with my lovely basbin and of course my love, ryan :)
after that we watched Paranormal Activity! We were scared.. (i mean, they were scared.. and of course i wasn't!)


thank you for everyone who involved at my 18th birthday. it's lovely and unforgetable! Love you.

xxoo,
Amila

i swear it hurts

i swear it hurts when i just found out about my boyf who was sent a voice note to his ex and told her how much he missed her and he said "love you".

oh dear God,
how could i show him that i actually still mad at him? and i'm really dissapointed with him?
but i just too blind and i just fell too deeply in love with him.. oh yeah im such a moron, i really dont know what i have to do. should i just sit down and silent??

Big fun night <3

makrab tanggal 17 Oktober 2009, di rumah isat.. makrab pertama kita ini di bikin sama cowok-cowok.. sweet banget mereka dari sehari sebelumnya pada belanja di carrefour, hihi.. trs kita (cewek2) pada penasaran gimana hasilnya.. dan akhirnya semalem sebelum makrab kita pada nyusul ke rumah isat.. ada alvin, reza, dkk pd lg tusuk2in daging buat barbeque.. dan cewek-cewek kaget ternyata APA ternyata DAGINGNYA UDAH PUCET.. hahahaha akhirnya kita lgs buru2 nyari es sm coolerbox buat dinginin daging supaya gak basi.. lucu banget cowok2.. abis nusuk2in daging.. trs kita main perang balon air.. tiba-tiba si reja lepas celana sm baju dan tinggal pake boxer doang alhasil diceburin lah dia.. trs alvin diceburin juga.. dan yg paling parah tuthe ikut diceburin :l kasian dia huhu... begini nih, belum makrabnya aja udah seruu hihi..

besoknyaaaa, gue sampe dirumah isat.. udah lumayan rame.. dan sayang sekali hujaaan :( untungnya ujannya ga terlalu lama abis ujan kita kumpul2 di depan kolam renang sambil ngobrol-ngobrol.. dan ujungnya... cebur2an.... ok pertama cowok-cowok cebur2an, trs cewek mulai ditarik2, dan mostly pd berhasil lolos.. trs abis itu pas gue lg narik ayu dan udh 99% berhasil di pinggir kolam renang TIBA TIBA gue ngerasa ada yg dorong gue dr belakang dan akhirnya BYURRRRRRRRRRR! thank god! gue kecebur dan gue cewek pertama! dan ga ada yang mau ngaku siapa yg dorong gue.... ckckck.. (tapi akhirnya raffi ngaku kok) lalu disusul oleh tuthe dan ayu.. cuma 3 cewek yg berhasil diceburin.. sedangkan cowok2 udah parah banget mainan cebur2annya sampe di seret2, di telanjangin dulu hahahaha.... seru banget deh pokoknya!

malem itu bener-bener berharga banget buat gue dan angkatan gue :') you know guys? i really had a great time with y'all... and we had a very big fun ryt? i love you all guys :*

killed by medicine

guys, minggu lalu gue baru aja mencoba hal baru yang.... um.... asik? hahaha! jadi gini ceritanya.. sabtu minggu lalu gue migren, awal2nya kayak migren ringan yg cuma cenut2 doang.. tapi gak berenti sampe hari senin dan makin parah pala gue kayak di ketok2 pake piso! sakit-banget. akhirnya gue sama nyokap gue ke dokter.. mulai lah nyokap gue curhat ini itu.. gue suka begadang lah ini lah itu lah ~_~ dokternya bilang "ok bu saya kasih obat migren aja ya sama obat tidur" nyokap gue sih iya2 aja ngangguk2 tiba dokternya bilang lagi "tenang aja bu, saya kasih dosis rendah kok.." dan pas gue liat resepnya.. mau tau dokternya nulis apa? mau tau mau tau? ok, it was sanax. -_- gue sih awalnya biasa aja sok2 santai gitu... gue gatau efeknya apaan aja... malemnya, gue minum satu.. gue tidur......... dan LEP! gue mendapatkan tidur yang sangat nyenyak, satu kata : ENAK! nah, nanti dulu ceritanya belum selesai.. terus pagi2nya gue berangkat ke sekolah... ulangan umum... nah ini dia nih ini dia.. gue gak bisa ngerjain soal sama sekali, semua blurrr, gue ngantuk, jantung gue deg2an, keringet dingin.. akhirnya gue ngerjain satu soal, trs gue lgs ke depan ngasih soal gue blg "bu saya ga kuat, saya susulan aja" dan akhirnya gue pulang ke rumah jam 10 pagi.. gue lgs tidur, dan hebatnya! gak bangun-bangun sampe jam 7 malem! ha-ha-ha-ha.... jera gue sama obat itu, gak lagi lagi deh (kalo lg sekolah :p)